Here are some simple and fail proof-ways to dominate the world, as passed down through an overly ambitious teenager.

The Idiot's Guide to World Domination:

Step 1: Develop a world domination complex. This step is vital if you are to expect any modicum of success.

Step 2: Learn to manipulate others to your twisted and doomed to fail views. If they don't go along, then bribe them.
Example: "Hey buddy. I have five bucks with your name on them."

If they still resist, brown nose them.
Example: "Hey, you have the cleanest right nostril I've ever seen. Do you like, trim them every day? I'm impressed."

If all else fails (which it usually will) then follow this age old saying. Asking politely gets you what you want, but violence is usually quicker.
Example: "Just see it my way. It saves you time and life expenses."

Step 3: Learn to competently use an Uzi. Or at the very least a Nerf Blaster. Beginners are highly encouraged to use a sibling as a cheap target.

Step 4: Establish Mob/ Mafia connections. As my grandpop used to say; "Well sweetie, if you can't beat 'em, join em. Then take over."

Step 5: What you just heard, you will never repeat to the public. Got it punk?

Duuuude! Hey, wassup? I'm Christine, more formally known as The Future Dictator of the World. But you don't have to call me that. Future Ruler of My Ass will do just fine.

Warning: if you are a goverment official who is reading this, then no- I am not a terrorist.

Mpoving along. Speaking as your host, all you future dictators out there, I will now say these these wise words of advice and shower you in my wisdom.

Now listen closely....

And remember everything that I am about to tell you...

For it is of significant value....

And you may use it everyday for the rest of your life.

Ready? You'd better be.


Welcome...to the wonderfully random ways my mind works.

Note: this is purely babbling crazy talk, so if you have a life, don't read it. Well... most of it is. Some of it's pretty wise....okay, all of it's pointless babble, but it's funny

1) Corn dogs...they aren't made from corn, or dogs! Why call them that then?!

2)Colbalt is a color. It is a dark green-blue. It is now my favorite color.

3)Who needs school? Go buy lottery tickets!

4)The exercise rountine of the future..... And dip, and chip, and flip the channel....that's right, flip the channel....eat chip, and more dip, and-oohhh.... American Idol...

5)When you're feeling cruddy and have nothing else to do, go sit in front of the T.V and start shoving copious amounts of ice cream down your throats. Come on, come on... show me a vowel!

6)Who cares about being normal? Stand out! Be your original self! It's so damned more fun than being part of a crowd.

7)It's okay to be a smart-ass. Just as long as an older adult doesn't catch you.

8)BLEACH. It is GODLY. The best thing to happen to this world since Cinnabon. I mean it. It kicks Naruto's ass. Namely in the fact that it is better planned, has ACTUAL romance and it's main character doesn't wear a jumpsuit.

9)It's not cool to be stupid. It's ok to let loose and be childishly fun, but it's not okay to be stupid. If you are a person who's grades are slipping, then get out a textbook, glue your butt to a chair and BE SMART. If you're taking drugs, then STOP. If you're going out with like, five people a week, then YOU NEED HELP. I mean it. Listen to me people. I own a chainsaw. And I know how to use it.

10)NEVER let your mom give you a haircut using A BOWL. Trust me. Been there, done that, was emotionally scarred for weeks.

And cut. Print. That's a wrap! ;D